FAITH JOURNEY WHILE TTC

This is a bit about my faith and what I believe. Please no negative comments, if you do not have the same beliefs as me that is fine, I would love to hear about yours but in a positive way. I am always willing to be held accountable by other Christians so if you feel that I am on the wrong track again I am glad to hear about it. I apologise if this is going to be a long post.

This post is really about my faith journey through infertility, rather than a whole. It is based on what got me through the tough times. I struggled with a miscarriage and dealing with the grief that was associated with that. After a few months I finally picked up a book a friend had lent me and that helped my healing process and sustained my faith when faced with month after month of negative pregnancy tests through scripture and testimonies. There were times I lost strength and hope but I knew I could always fall back on my faith, even in the toughest of tough of days. I kept a journal through that time and I will try and summarize it in this post.

The first encouraging scripture that I found was Exodus 23:25-26 ‘Worship the Lord your God and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you, and none will miscarry or be barren (other versions say infertile) in your land. I will give you a full lifespan.’ Even though I had miscarried I held onto this for my future babies, I spoke this over my life, over the baby I carry now. This was the best ‘infertility’ scripture I could find and held on this promise that none would be barren. According to God’s word, our seed is blessed, and our womb is fruitful. God sets us free from bareness and infertility as we serve him.

Matt 7 24-27 is the parable about the men who built his house on rock and one on sand - the storm came to both men. The difference is that the man who built his house on rock had a firm foundation in Jesus and he was the one who was still standing after the storm. No matter what trials come your way you can continue to stand on what Jesus has done for you then you will remain standing when the storm (trial) is over. Stand your ground and trust in God. Our foundation should be his word which promises that none shall be barren. That is out rock on which we shall build our home.

Speaking healing and fruitfulness over your life was a big shift for me, smashing away the label of an infertile and taking that of a fertile woman.  In Genesis God spoke and the world was created – through his words. Matthew 17:20 says that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can say to this mountain move from here to there and it will nothing is impossible for you. Abraham was asked to sacrifice his only son Isaac who had been promised to him after years of infertility, he obey what was asked of him, standing on the promises of God, that he would have a son (and a father of the nations). On the way up to the mountain Isaac asked his father, we have the wood and fire but where is the lamb? Abraham spoke out (prophetically) that God will provide. On the mountain as he was about to sacrifice his son he saw a ram caught in the thickets. Speak fertility over your lives, this is such an important part of living in faith, not living in the realms of this world but speaking out the truth over your life. Inheritance is given because Jesus died for our sins, there will be times when we need to fight for our inheritance.

Faith is like a muscle it needs to be developed and exercised to be built up. Meditate on the word to build your faith, believing and acting on it. God’s way is to believe for something before you see it – unlike the world’s way to believe something when you see it. We are no longer of the world 2 Corinthians 4:18.

Trying and trying for a baby can be heartbreaking, months and months of torture, uncertainty can set in. Psalm 34:18-19 ‘The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed spirit. Many are they afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all’ Just because God gives us a message it does not mean that everything goes smoothly until that word is accomplished. 2 Timothy 1:7 ‘For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and of a sound mind.’

Laminations 3:25 ‘The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeks him.’ Wait in the bible means to look eagerly for, to hope or to expect. To wait on the Lord means that we have an expectancy that God will bring his word to pass. Biblical hope means an intense expectation, earnest confidence and desire with expectation.  Psalm 37:4-5 Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will do this’ God cares about your desires but also cares about where you place those desires. Exodus 23:25-26 WORSHIP OR SERVE GOD and then you will not miscarry or be infertile. Psalm 37:4 DELIGHT YOURSELF IN THE LORD and then you will receive the desires of your heart. Matthew 6:33 SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM and then all things will be given to you.  

 Early February I felt God push me to seek prayer during our connect group [like a small group/bible study] (on the 6th of Feb) we had been struggling with secondary infertility for 15 months after a miscarriage. At that stage I had seen several doctors who would not listen to me that there was an issue and told me many things from it can take 3 years, to quit my job (stay at home mum) to go and get IVF - but I knew we could do it naturally as I have fallen pregnant twice. On the 11th I was to see a specialist for the 1st time and as soon as she heard what had been going on she acknowledged there was a problem and pinpointed it to 3 possibilities (2 of which I knew were not the issue) The 3rd was a diagnostic test (on the 20th of Feb) to see if I had blocked Fallopian tubes, the test came back clear but one of the tubes was slower to flow. No one thought anything of it, I was just so relieved to not have blocked tubes and need surgery, but a little disappointed we still didn't have an answer. On the 6th of March at I found out I was 3 weeks pregnant! And 2 days later we saw the specialist for the results only to tell her we were pregnant! She told us there was probably a small blockage from the miscarriage and the test was able to flush it out. God is good and opened many doors for us that month just by stepping out in faith! We will be expecting our baby mid November 2013 and are so very very very excited and thankful!

This is just some of my journey, there is more of course. I hope it helps you with your struggles. Some other scriptures and bits and pieces that helped me through.

• ·        Hebrews 10:23 ‘Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promises is faithful’
• ·        Jeremiah 29:11 ‘For I know the plans I have for you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’
• ·         Numbers 23:19 ‘God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfil?’
• ·        Psalm 33:4 ‘For the Word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all he does.’
• ·        1 Peter 1:25 ‘The word of the Lord stands forever.’
• ·        My favourite 2 Corinthians 1:20 ‘All of the promises of God are yes and amen.’
• ·        Leviticus 26:9 ‘I will look on you with favour and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you.’
• ·         John 15:7 ‘If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.’
• ·         Matthew 18:19 ‘If two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for them by my father in heaven.’
• ·         Proverbs 16:33 ‘We may throw the dice but the Lord determines how they fall’
• ·         Proverbs 16:1 ‘We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer’
• ·    James 5:13 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.

KNOWLEDGE – claim what is mine

DECIDE – no longer going to live with this

PRAY – speak the word daily

CONFESSION – take authority over your body, don’t speak about it but speak to it out of existence, stop speaking of the diagnostic but of the solution.

PRAISE – God for any victory

And lastly I HAVE AN ATTITUDE OF HOPE AND FAITH.