Thursday 25 July 2013

STRUGGLE CITY

I have promised myself and everyone else that I wouldn't complain about this pregnancy, and I can assure you this post is not a complaint. But I thought I would share with you how I am feeling now I am 23 weeks pregnant. Yesterday was a tough day for me.

Let me explain. I tend to harbour feelings of anxiety whilst pregnant. Before I fall pregnancy (catch this oxymoron) I become anxious about being anxious in pregnancy. Why, because it can get really bad, so far I have experienced it in all three pregnancies, and know that if we are to have any more children this is something I will face again. It’s something that disappears after childbirth (or miscarriage in the other case) so it’s not an everlasting fear, just something I know I will have to face and battle in at least half of my pregnancy.

It generally only affects the times I sleep but yesterday I got to experience it during the day, twice. There is nothing for me to be anxious about at the time being, we are infact in the middle of renovations, but they are all going smoothly and I have all confidence that we will finish them before bubba Will is welcomed into the world. The anxiety I feel is usually associated with nothing. Boring I know. It comes on in times of rest, where I will suddenly jolt up and have a mild panic attack.


I have noticed that each time this has started has been when my blood glucose has started to peak. I tested during both times of anxiousness yesterday and both of those times I was a little high (I hadn't waited the full two hours after a meal to test, it was more like 1-1.5 hours, but I was interested to see if it was high during anxiety). It is also triggered during times of sickness, my son has a bad chesty cough and I have gotten the cold end of it, making it harder to breath (on already restricted breathing). What possibly makes it worse is that I tend to become claustrophobic, so being unable to breathe freaks me out.

I have found a number of ways to combat this though, not all of them are possible at certain times, but they definitely help when I can do them. The first is exercise, I find the distraction and endorphins help calm me down and settle me for quite a few hours, this can be as simple as a 10 minute walk. Obviously I can't do this at 4am in the middle of winter but if I find that this is a reoccurring thing I may be inclined to relocated the treadmill out of our bedroom into another room where I won't disturb anyone if I need to go on a quick walk. Another of my coping mechanisms is to call my hubby up and have a chat, again this is not always possible, sometimes he is with a client or in a meeting or in the middle of rendering a wall and is unwilling or unable to talk. I’m also not sure if he appreciates the 4am wake ups either to talk about ‘stuff’ just to get my mind off whatever it is that is keeping me awake. Playing music has helped me in the past, although this was to relax me if I was struggling to fall asleep. I may try a hot bath before bed if all else fails.

Have you encountered anxiety in your pregnancy? And if so what have you found to help you overcome it?

19 comments:

  1. It is terrible being anxious during pregnancy.

    I'm in the midst of my first pregnancy that hasn't ended in miscarriage, my anxiety comes in the form of awful nightmares. Long hours at a stressful job keeps me from worrying during the day, and my days off are spent recovering and gardening.

    Are your legs and back sore? I noticed more nightmares when I'm sore and stiff, so a little massage right before sleep helps. Also, sometimes I find relaxing in bed with very light fun reading for a couple of hours before going to sleep really helps.

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    1. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this too. Unfortunately a stressful job wouldn't help. Nightmares would be terrible! I have had vivid dreams but nothing terrible, just weird.

      My back has been an issue during this pregnancy, although I think my anxiety comes from being unwell and stuffy, and is triggered when I struggle to breath.

      I think I will give a relaxing bath a go hopefully that helps! I hope things ease up for you and you get some peaceful nights sleep!

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  2. I think I might have suffered anxiety when I was pregnant with No.1 but with No's 2 and 3 I didn't have the time or energy! I hope it passes quickly and if you get worried, just ask yourself, "what is the worst thing that could happen" in a logical voice? Emily :)

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    1. Thanks heaps! Yes I have been trying to suppress it and not let it take over. It usually catches me off guard when I am just about to fall asleep. I am hoping I have learnt enough coping mechanisms to deal with it. I think first time around I didn't really know what was happening until I was at my lowest point, and now I understand what is happening as soon as it has started.

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  3. I have found that reading a book or playing a mindless game on my phone helps me to fall asleep easier. It doesn't always work but it does help to redirect my thoughts onto something less worrisome.

    Thanks for linking up with us this week at The Lounge :)

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    1. Oh yes, I should definitely get a new book to get stuck into! Thanks heaps for your thoughts and stopping by!

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  4. I had a lot of bleeds in my second pregnancy, and every time I'd freak out, even though every medical practitioner was totally calm about it. I liked having the ultrasound so the technicians could act like I was some crazy lady, worrying about some tiny tear (that looked HUGE to me but apparently wasn't anything to them). I would be fine until the next one, then I'd leave work in tears and go through the same scenario again. Frantic until they'd say 'oh, that's not anything, forget about it'. My OB said "I would get involved if there was a problem. You don't actually need to do anything. BUT if you get comfort going through this process each time, then we'll just keep doing it" and he meant it. He wasn't trying to talk me out of it - he just knew I wouldn't calm down until I had seen the ultrasounds and had the techs act like I was a nutter...

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    1. Oh wow I would have totally freaked out as well, and would have been relieved every time I had an ultrasound!

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  5. Not during pregnancy I don't think. But when I do get anxious at night and can't sleep I find writing down whatever it is stops me hashing it over. Even if it's 'Phone this person tomorrow.'
    I know you say that it's about nothing, but if you shoot up in bed and don't have any worry to write down, could you write down how you're actually feeling? Describe it? And then see if it dissipates? Might be worth a try.

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    1. Oh that's a great idea about writing what is bothering you down even just journaling how I am feeling! I do find getting out of bed and blogging a help, even if it is off topic.

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  6. Well this is timely. I just posted about using abdominal breathing to help with stress and anger - but I'm sure it could be worth a try for anxiety also. Handy if you find it helpful as you can do it anywhere, anytime. Best wishes.

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    1. Oh that's a great tip! I find it is triggered when I am struggling to breath in bed weather it's from lying on my back when i shouldn't or if I am stuffy from a cold! :D

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  7. I struggled heightened anxiety with my pregnancies too. I think for me it the combination of all those extra hormones rushing through my system & the sense of not being totally in control of what happens to you & bub, even though it is your body doing all the work. I found a warm bath before bed helped me relax & feel more comfortable when I laid down.

    All the best Nathalie. :)

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    1. It's such a common thing, yet no ones seems to talk about it! It's nice to know that I am not the only one (where in my first pregnancy I thought I was just going crazy!) Thank-you and thanks for stopping by!

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  8. My second pregnancy wasn't too bad because I was mostly so stressed dealing with the toddler but that stress towards the end, especially about getting things done wa so bad all I could do was sit and cry some days. With my first pregnancy I was constantly worried and anxious as I had bleeding every other week and even though I was assured that it wasn't anything bad or serious (a benign cervical polyp that are apparently prone to bleeding in pregnancy due to increased blood volume and hormones) it was still really terrifying every time it would start an for the few days each time that it continued. All I could do was just try to distract myself and I watched a LOT of DVDs to try and do just that!

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    1. Oh the getting things done before bubba comes with a toddler - I can totally relate, and last week everything was too much. I was shopping for fathers day and just wanted to curl up and cry on the courtesy lounge I was so tired and stressed. Oh I can imagine how stressful bleeding throughout the pregnancy would be and it would totally tip me over the edge! Glad all was okay though! Thanks heaps for stopping by and telling your story!

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  9. I experienced everything other than anxiety in pregnancy. I hope it eases for you soon. Just curious do you have gestational diabetes?

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    1. Thank-you, it hasn't been too bad over the last couple of weeks! I had gestational diabetes with my first, so had the test again. The finger prick test came back positive but the blood draws were negative. I think there may have been a mix up so waiting to see the paper work next week to confirm. But yes high sugars definitely trigger it in me! Thanks for stopping by.

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    2. Thank-you, it hasn't been too bad over the last couple of weeks! I had gestational diabetes with my first, so had the test again. The finger prick test came back positive but the blood draws were negative. I think there may have been a mix up so waiting to see the paper work next week to confirm. But yes high sugars definitely trigger it in me! Thanks for stopping by.

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