BEER GOGGLES

Oh how it was painful. I was warned that a posterior birth would be painful. I didn't believe them. I was having bad thoughts, thoughts of biting my husbands fingers off, throwing things across the room and dropping the F bomb as loud as I could! I am pleased to say that although I thought them none eventuated!

I was offered gas. The gas provided a minor distraction.I had thought about asking for an epidural for quite some time, but being the stubborn woman I am was trying to persevere, to fight the pain. The thoughts then lead to me asking my husband for it, for quite a few contractions, his response was is that what you want - I don't know what I want. Repeat.

It was not in my birth plan. I wanted to labour naturally like I did with my first son, even though his birth led to an emergency cesarean section. It was such a peaceful, easy labour. When the obstetrician offered it to me I did not hesitate. She said that if I continued the way I was, I was going to have a repeat of my last birth, as my body was bearing down, putting pressure on my cervix, which could cause it to swell, leading to another obstruction.

The anesthetist was called. 

The gas was starting to work. 

The room was black. 

There were white spots everywhere. 

It felt as though I was going to pass out. 

I was pleased. 

If I passed out the pain would disappear.

The anesthetist arrived.

It was like she was walking in slow motion.

With soft flowy hair.

She was stunning.

She took my breath away.

And then I stopped sucking on the gas.

And reality hit.

She wasn't some young exotic breath taking woman.

She was past her prime, the wrinkles were deep, her hair was dry.

I had been wearing beer goggles.