Wednesday 31 July 2013

SLAMMED

One of my posts describing my difficulty with a fussy child was recently slammed on here. Of course this is fine, a blog is about opinion, firstly mine and then the responses (which I love to get). It was more so that I was being harshly told what I was doing wrong without gathering any of the facts first. It was even off topic, instead how to get my child to eat the dinners presented in front of him, I was getting what to feed him, what I shouldn't be feeding him, what I should be getting rid of from the pantry that doesn't even exist in there, I don't even know if the post was actually read? Assumptions were made, judgments handed out, without trying to get to know me first even though there is a sidebar to the left with would have eliminated more than half of what I was being scolded about. Are we too quick to hand out judgements, to make (m)others feel like they have failed?

There are a lot of opinions out there (I of course have a plethora), many ways to do things, some that suit your family and way of life and others that just do not fit. I have been incredibly lucky and joined a mothers group with supportive women. A lot of groups are not like this. I have heard some terrible stories. And quite frankly it can be hard sticking a bunch of women who don't know each other together and expecting them all to get on, with the only bond holding them together is the fact that the first child was born in the same month, give or take. Why is ours successful in meeting up weekly 3 years on? We can come together knowing that in all our differences we can support each other and offer each other an alternative way to do things. The fact is we are all first time mums (no matter how many children you have no child is alike so really you need to start learning again, once a new addition is made, and then adjust to life with one more). None of us have done this before and are continually learning and evolving the way we do things as we and our children grow.

I had so many positive response to my post battlefield on other forms of social media (google plus namely) and received so much constructive advice, something I loved and had many many suggestions that I have tried (and have worked). THANK-YOU! People didn't assume the worst of me and assume that all I fed my child was junk food, now in utter desperation trying to seek a healthier alternative. There has always been healthy meals offered with barely any processed food in the house (I say barley as there are some scerics from my morning sickness days where all I wanted to eat was processed crap). There are no ready meals, packets of this or that, if we want biscuits we make them together, they are offered after he has had a decent meal - oh why oh why am I sitting here typing my defense?

I am happy to say mealtimes have been a breeze over the last couple of days, with sickness lifting and an appetite that has returned. At one dinner time I served him something he's not a huge fan of steamed veggies and steak (he loves the steak bit), that only required one warning (where usually it would take over half an hour for him to eat his broccoli alone - something he ate easily a few months ago). The second time was with grilled chicken and steamed veggie which he ate without us as hubby was working late, he ate without a fuss and as we sat down for dinner while he was having his bedtime milk, he asked for more broccoli. The other was hidden veggie burgers (build your own) that he scoffed down without me even asking him to eat, he came over when I placed dinner down (we had a picnic that night) and started digging in! The last was a fail, a big big fail, he was over tired as we sat down to dinner later than usual, and I served shepherd's pie, nothing new in it, it was actually something he had eaten and enjoyed before, but he refused to eat it, absolutely hands down no way in hell refused. So we sent him to bed straight away with nothing else (the next day had no issues, other than him turning his nose up to leftovers for lunch, but I had made a salad that we shared).  So I am hoping that the success continue and that all this hard work is finally paying off!

To the good old days before taste buds changed, where he would eat what we would eat (in this case dumplings and a noodle dish from a trip to one of the asian food hubs in Melbourne). This was exactly one year ago where there was no defiance of the boundaries or figuring out of oneself and what one likes.  



4 comments:

  1. Hi Nathalie - I totally hear you on the fussy eating front! I have gone from having a kid that would eat anything and try everything (even the stuff I make)to someone who won't even try a tiny piece of pancake! I guess it will pass someday :-) fingers crossed!

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    1. It's not a fun stage is it??? That is exactly what happened to us, but keep up your persistence as you will get there (we have made great progress, which I will be blogging about soon!)

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  2. hey - so glad to hear he's coming off the fussy bandwagon again - I go in ups and downs with my daughter all the time - one minute all she wants is minced beef, the next she won' touch it. But I figure, if she's sleeping well and not acting hungry in the day, then I won't worry if she doesn't eat more than a bite or two of dinner. I am trying my best not to go on the rollercoaster of preparing different food for her if she refuses one lot - hopefully I can stay strong!

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    1. Thanks, yes it's a relief, although we still sometimes have our days! It's such a frustrating stage isn't it! Keep going sounds like you are doing a great job, what i have learnt out of this is that every child goes through this fussy stage!

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