A BIT OF BLING

When I was talking to my now husband about getting married, I started looking at engagement rings. I wanted a BIG one! The biggest we could afford. I like big things, especially jewelry, especially as a 19 year old. Not that I regret my choice, I love my ring, it's totally me! But as I was driving my oldest son to kinda today, I noticed my hand was bare. Not uncommon I often leave the house without my wedding bands.

Ever since I fell pregnant with Israel I have been self conscious about weather or not I am wearing my rings. The main reason for this is being a young mum. There is such a stigma about young mums. In today's day and age women hold off to have children and get married until they have established their career, set up their home and traveled the world. I chose to get married young. I had only been 21 for 2 months when I tied the knot. 3 months previously my husband and I had purchased our first home together, we rented it out then I deferred from university for 1 year so that we could travel around Australia in a purple kombi for our honeymoon. So in no way do I feel like I have missed out on living life to it's fullest (and I do not let my children let me from living life, they are fully included on our adventures).

But being young you get judged, I walked into my first midwife appointment I had just turned 23, and the first thing the midwife asked me was weather or not I was surprised. The answer no, no I wasn't this baby was very much planned and 6 months in the making.

So maybe I like to wear my rings to prove to the world that I have my shit together. I'm not just a young girl who got knocked up and chose to keep the baby. THIS WAS PLANNED. Maybe my self consciousness comes from my own judging. I often catch myself looking down at that finger on the left hand, trying to figure out someones story. And I thought I had very much grown past this stage of life, the self conscious part, then came the kindergarten drop off at a Christian school, with all the mums being much older than I. Let the hiding my left hand judging fun times begin as I enter the room hand naked.